Hey Kids!

Build your own Storr Trekk* Deep Babbling 14 Space Station!

Some assembly required. May be hazardous to children, dogs, other humans, trees, shrubs, and life on Earth in general. NOt to be used in populated areas, deserts, barren mountains or sea-bottoms. Keep out of reach of politicians.

Only $499. Order Now! It's easy! Even though NASA can't get its recycled biomass together and get funding for its part of the International Space Station, for you funding is no problem! (Just use your parents' credit card!)

Name on Credit Card_______________________________________________
Credit card number_________________________________________________
Dispose of at Ship to:_______________________________________________
City______________________________ State____________ Zip__________

Dubious Products, LLC,
c/o Tony's Tropical Tap Room
Hourly Rates Hotel
1414 Avenue of Unreglated Banking
City of Renamed Strangers
Undisclosed Island Outside Territorial Waters, 12123

Complete kit includes:

2 abandoned 50-gallon drums space station modules, complete with toxic mystery sludge space-age chemical lining, cracks and rust-through vents and port holes, and pie pans, coat hangers and assorted trash solar panels and antennae!

Sophisticated gasoline vapor and charcoal lighter "launch system"!

With a few additions (like a cell-phone, pda or any other device that uses late-20th Century technology), your space station could be more technolgically advanced than MIR®!

Spend inordinate amounts of time in it! Set records! (Just like MIR!)

Pretend you're doing something important and scientific (just like Skylab!)

Tell your friends who want to be shallow, self-important rock stars that they should offer you a million dollars for a ride into space!

After you're bored with it, you can set it on fire to simulate "de-orbiting"!

Or, just orbit your neighborhood until your neighbors offer you money to go away. They'll pay you even more to avoid "de-orbiting" on their property!

*Not related to any of the Store Trek® television shows, Store Trek® movies, Store Trek® SmallMark® Christmas Ornaments®, StoreTrek.net® internet hosting service, the Store Trek® merchandising empire, the United Paranoid Network®, Paranoid Entertainment® or any of their affiliates, assigns or leigons of lawyers.